Style Academy's Got Style!

Introduction to Sentence Combining

Well, the first exercise led me to write something like this:

            In order to join the category of people who become highly creative and productive, we must learn to acknowledge, embrace, and even explore and derive educational enrichment from our failures.

In the second exercise, I produced t­his series of sentences:

            My feet went out of sight in the late 1990's due to my failing vision, which predicament led me to set an appointment with an eye doctor in Paris; he sent me off to buy some glasses following a series of affirmative tests.  At the store, I still couldn't see completely clearly, which fact I'd like to blame my choice of frames on.  Although neither excuse holds truth or validity, I'd like to say they were forced upon me.  In the end, I personally selected a pair that I believed increased my intellectual and international appearance.  The frames were constructed with dark plastic and rectangular lenses that weren't much larger that weren't much larger than my eyes.  I felt a strange sense of familiarity about the glasses, but I failed to exactly pinpoint its source.  After I picked them up, I spent a great deal of time in front of the mirror, pretending to share intelligent comments in regards to the state of Europe.

Introduction to Sentence Imitation

For this tutorial's first exercise, they had me copy their sentence verbatim:

            Sometimes, according to Edwin Teale, a gall gnat larva, which does not resemble the adult in the least, and which has certainly not mated, nevertheless produces within its body eggs, live eggs, which then hatch within its soft tissue.

Then the next exercise required my own sentence, but structurally identical to theirs:

            Occasionally, according to the scriptures, a faithful sheep, which resembles a member of the Church, and which is not likely to fall away from the faith, nevertheless suffers a plethora of temptation of the flesh, strong temptations, which can be overcome through the power of Christ.

Lastly, there was a suggested paragraph that we were told to imitate in our own original way:

            [Original]  There's nothing better that students can take home over summer vacation than a sense that what they have learned last year has meant they were able, with the help of lots of other people, including the alienated girl with the green hair and that kid who counts on his fingers, and lots and lots of people beyond the walls of the school, to make something important happen, to meet a challenge.

            [Revised by me]  Nothing is quite as enjoyable that runners can take home from a cross country race over the rest of the Saturday than a sense that what they achieved in an intense, 18-minute course has meant that they were able, with encouragement from every direction, including the long-haired friendly runner and the fierce green-jersey runner, and hordes of jeering spectators lining the avenue of the 5K track, to achieve something fantastically rigorous, to triumph over this physical challenge.

Reflection

            I really feel that the Style Academy website is very fantastic, and beneficially useful for improving and developing as a writer, and my writing style.  I appreciate the numerous available tutorial videos posted on the site, wherein are clear, comprehendible explanations of the different aspects of writing.  Embedded within these videos are awesome moments to pause the streaming and work on our own exercises.  This keeps me engaged and more focused on the content of the video; I'm compelled to learn from what is being taught.  I found it interesting also the different categorized techniques employed by the site's authors, which they believe are the most advantageous for this concept of learning to write better.  They talked about imitating those authors and devices used which we highly favor to better our own voice; we are influenced by the writing we invest our time and minds in.  And sentence combining is very thought provoking and mind expanding in that it forces me to consider the multiple ways I could possibly phrase something.

            The exercises and assignments are great sources for practicing, re-working and growing as a writer; some of the examples given that we are to combine or imitate or easier, while others are more abstruse and suggest stepping back from an initial approach and tackling the combining, imitating goal from a new variant angle or perspective. 

GASCAP Articles

Choosing Right When the World Is Wrong--Elder Charles Didier, February 2010

Generalization--It is a challenge to become and remain righteous in a world that is growing more wicked every day.  Also, that revelation in the LDS Church is a vital resource to learn our duties in life from God, and it is not dead.

Analogy--Elder Didier utilizes one of his experiences from being in the Belgian Air Force as a direct, analogous example of choosing right amidst bounteous wrong.  At the welcoming party for new military men, they shared alcohol beverages, which he knew trespassed the Word of Wisdom from God.  So he asked for orange juice instead, in faith to remain clean and obey, and his request was granted.

Sign--In order to fulfill our desires of making the right choices, and resisting evil, we need to fortify our souls through consistent prayer and scripture study.

Causality--If we seek personal revelation from the Lord, then we'll be strengthened and guided daily to be safe and happy, and to remain clean.  Also, if we commit small sins, then evil can just as easily have power to overcome and destroy our souls, as they'll lead to more grievous sins.

Authority--The words of modern prophets and the scriptures "establish a foundation of righteousness that will never change (Elder Didier)"; so it is, because we, as Latter-Day Saints, accept these works as truth.  Specifically, President Hinckley, a prophet, claimed that evil does not bring happiness, only happiness lies in power and love.

Principles--We need to be positive forces in the world and help end the enormous presence of sin, and make a difference through righteous examples and influence.

What If Heaven is Not For Real?--Adam Frank, January 2015

Generalization--That people know of the recent "heaven tourism" novels published and sold, and more importantly, that people understand the concept of Heaven, life after death, and its Creator Jesus Christ.

Analogy--The author poses the idea that in the Dark Ages, there was no concern for our existence to influence or matter in the past, which puts into perspective how irrational our current fretting over future life is inadequate.  And of course, the whole story of his brother dying prematurely in an auto accident.

Sign--If we suffer so much pain in this life and there could be the chance of a better life afterwards in Heaven, then it stands that we should preserve the hope of attaining to such a happy place.

Causality--If we don't agonize over our lack of being in the past, then why should we fear not existing after we die, following this 'short' mortal journey?  And since the "heavenly tourism" books may not be true, anxiety over post-mortal life increases.

Authority--Adam Frank is a professor at the University of Rochester, and had a life-changing experience thereabout, with his brother passing away horrifically at age nine; so quite honestly, his deep ponderings over post-mortal matters are legitimately expressed.

Principles--Human beings are deeply fearful of dying and so people hope for the happier, brighter afterlife to come, that's void of all suffering and sorrow.

Thesis Proposal for "A Greater Balance; Learning in Nature"

Thesis: 

                With the undeniable increase of potential technological engagement abundant in this modern world, we need to consciously do our part in ensuring and supporting a greater balance between indoor, illusionary interactions and the opportunities for kids and all people to forage outside, explore and glean rich knowledge from the real physical and spiritual realm of nature.

Evidences/Reasons:

                There exist and frighteningly thrive many indoor distractions for children and adults in the modern digital age, including movies, TV shows, video games, computer games and social media, iPads, smart phones, tablets, and countless others I probably don't know of.  Collectively, these tech devices ensnare the attention of modern Americans for 7-10 hours a day, on average, which seems excessive sedentary behavior behind a glowing screen.  And while they may be receiving edifying information in quick and convenient ways, the health drawbacks and the outside learning opportunities--the challenges and creativity-required adventures nature presents--are excellent reasons to pull away from intelligent devices, and increase self-discovery in a tangible, responsive natural realm.  Self-discovery is key, and much more effectively achieved while learning to climb trees, avoid harmful plants, scale granite boulders, and cross rushing creeks. 

            Technological teaching tools also detract from chances to interact with one another, build bridges of friendships and teamwork, and compassion and care the underlying composites of these relationships.  When kids are permitted to roam and work in natural environments, the things they accomplish together, whether it be constructing a sand castle or architecting a tree house, they learn to cope and uplift one another, collaborating and physically laboring side-by-side.  Critical thinking skills crop up in situations in these particular circumstances, and when they triumph over obstacles, or accomplish goals together, their joy and confidence waxes strong.  While tech offers a wide realm of information, we cannot become solely reliant on them to the point where individual, unique creativity is squandered and deemed dispensable or less practical.

              The lack of tangible, spiritual contact with the real things of nature, rather viewing these things on glowing mesmerizing and tantalizing screens is a mock and a show if ingratitude for all the beautiful creations of nature that have been fashioned for us.  God instituted the creation of trees and plants and animals with living souls (Moses 3:9), so their spirituality is prevalent and beneficial to man, when tapped into.  We can recieve energy and richer enthusiasm and perspective on the ways of life; after all we're made from the dust, we'll return to the dust after dying. so why not interact and draw strength from dust's nutrients now?  All the instructive symbols and steadfast examples of growth found in nature are evidence we can take advantage of observing, if only we'll go up and among these treasures ourselves.      

The Strengths and Weaknesses of Opinion Editorials

Dress Code Editorial

Strengths:  It is very well organized, very persuasive in utilizing reasonable evidence and support of accepting adherence to the BYU Honor and Dress Code; it appeals to the disregarding students boldly, yet politely, and shares personal, relatable experiences.  She also includes light-hearted yet pertinent humor and the author seems a person of good character--her values are clear.

Weaknesses:  She could include more factual, statistical or experimental validation of the effects of dress code adherence, and could use stronger, more sophisticated transitions.

PDA Editorial

Strengths:  I found the speaker's almost sassy, sarcastic and wholesome sense of humor made the enlightening, inspiring article also entertaining.  Her outside support and appeal to the PDA victims presents a perspective before unexplored while proposing solutions for improvement.

Weaknesses:  Minimal here; perhaps she seemed at times obscenely harsh in her PDA criticism, but always followed with a more understandable, reasonable elaboration of her feelings/beliefs.

Wrestling's Dirty Secret

Strengths:  The author omits a complete, steady control and passionate review over the corrupt wrestling weight loss, and is effectively organized and grammatically flawless in his approach.  He presents multiple logical, practical solutions to the urgent issue addressed.

Weaknesses:  His weaknesses are nearly nonexistent, it's all a around a truthful, powerful article; however, it wouldn't hurt to have added the weight loss problems correlating to other sports, to reel in a more broad audience in terms of audience intrigue.

Kids in Nature

            For my opinion editorial paper, I'm going to focus my attention on modern-day children and their decreasing interest in exploring nature.  The wooded paths and trails, the cool brooks and streams, the high mountain peaks are left abandoned, untouched; what's the competition?  Technology.  Technology is a dangerous, deceiving replacement for real-world adventures and experiences.  Video game and YouTube adventures satisfy the innate, primeval call of the wild that every kid feels at one time or another, and they miss out on the glowing, bountiful lessons that Mother Nature--a marvelous instructor--has to offer.

            One of the key elements of this topic is how technology is being more widely accepted and utilized in school, church, and home as ways to occupy and 'distract' children.  Already the huge red flag crops up, because when a child's cute little face is illuminated by the dazzling, gargantuan screen of a smart phone or tablet (or whatever new thing's out there now) they are trapped in a virtual, false world.  The people and things they interact with are unflawed, impersonal shades of real, living people and toys--illusionary perspectives of life. Their opportunities too meet and play with other children and adults are limited, and that's just not good.  How can a parent develop an appropriate, solid relationship with their kids if they never really parent them?  I believe the electronic babysitter, when excessively used, is an assault on proper, traditional childhood growth.

            When I was young, I had the privilege of going camping, climbing trees, scuffing my elbows and knees, and sword fighting malicious, imaginary villains with carved sticks.  My family and I, we'd all go on hikes along the river banks, chasing squirrels and birds, and skipping stones.  The very vibrant life and breath of the surrounding environment edified, refined, and provided us with confidence and strength.  When T.V. shows, movies, and video games coerce the children of the world to remain indoors, sitting dormant, they're fostering sedentary and unfit lives.  Their social skills, spiritual exuberance, physical and mental well-being are smothered and endangered.

            My paper will go deeper into these pressing subjects, and present practical solutions--we just need to retain the traditional childhood experience, and encourage a greater  balance between the virtual and real, outdoor world. 

Meet Me! An abridged intro to this blog's creator.

Howdy--my name is Max Wright, and I love to write.  I may not be the most extraordinary master of words, or the champion of perfect grammar, nor even well-seasoned in the field of fancy vocabulary, but I've got my style with which I'm wholly satisfied.  Of course, I'm willing to adopt awesome or beneficial English writing nuances that I enjoy from fellow authors, and teachers of the written language, and I strive to progress and further excel in my endeavors.  
For the most part I'm a plain, normal dude that does what he loves.  I'm pursuing the creation and direction of film at BYU, while trying to learn all I can about the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ, which I believe is the greatest thing on earth and in heaven.  Acting also occupies my fancy, and drawing, reading, singing, gardening, cooking, and spending time with my wonderful family and friends.  The outdoors intrigue and allure me on wild adventures, exploring and soaking in the beautiful majesties of God's creative heart and hand.

"East of Eden" by the legendary John Steinbeck is my favorite novel that's been read by me, and "East of Eden" from the brilliant Elia Kazan contends for one of my favorite films.  The raw, descriptive language and genesis-inspired story of Adam Trask and his boys Cal and Aaron offered me a series of lessons and values unlike any American Literature I'd before encountered.